A Rough Morning

Do you ever feel as if you have nobody to talk to? Do you feel as if you’re choking or suffocating from all the things and feelings you’ve kept inside for so long? I know I do. Sometimes I feel as if I can’t express myself to friends or family because they’ll quickly judge me or talk behind my back. Even though they say they won’t, they do. People can be a bit opinionated and judgmental sometimes. Especially when someone isn’t living life THEIR own way. I was once told that just because people do things differently, it doesn’t mean that it’s wrong. This is very true.

Today has been a rough day. I’ve lost my cool a million times already. I sent my husband a million whiny text messages. I’m extremely frustrated because she is in the “NO” stage. She didn’t want to get dressed, have her diaper changed, or simply eat her food. My stress levels are over the roof right now. I binged on almost the entire pantry and now I feel guilty because I know it’ll take me a lifetime to burn it all off. It’s not even noon and I’m wondering how many more hours until our bedtime.

Before losing it again, I stopped to think: how can I be so upset if she’s only been in this world for 17 months? She’s experiencing new things, discovering objects around her, and recognizing that her surroundings just keep getting more and more interesting. I don’t blame her. Seeing her becoming more aware and less “baby” far outweigh our tough moments. The slobbery kisses and the big smiles make every bit of this worth it. I recognize that we typically go quickly through our daily routines as if we’re on autopilot. We keep shifting from lunchtime, to naptime, to playtime, to bedtime like robots. The days turn into weeks and the weeks turn into months. I often find myself forgetting to slow down and just be. Maybe she just needs a little more outdoor play and friendly children interactions to drain more of her energy.

I understand that kids her age are beginning to express what they like and don’t like and what they want or don’t want to do. She’s been also occasionally yet deliberately disobeying my orders. I’ve read that instead of making it a big deal, experts recommend to ignore their behavior/ defiance whenever possible. I’m sure it’s just a stage, but in the meantime, I would love to hear what you do when your child doesn’t want to do something in particular. Leave your comments below!

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