I can’t believe I today registered at the hospital where I’ll soon be delivering our son. This pregnancy has been a rapid blur for me; especially because I’ve been extremely preoccupied with a 21-month old toddler. At the beginning of my pregnancy, I felt nothing but extreme tiredness and hunger. It was something I couldn’t satisfy with exercise, countless hours of sleep, or even by binge eating. Gladly, towards the end of my second trimester, I got a boost of energy that has helped me survive until this day. I honestly can’t complain much because my pregnancy has been awesome. I have truly enjoyed every moment of it, including my growing belly. The best part about it is that I haven’t even gained as much weight as I thought I would. Winning!
As I’m filling out all the information required for admissions at the hospital, I began feeling a bit scared and anxious of having a second child. I can’t stop the constant stream of thoughts of fear, doubt, and uncertainty. Don’t get me wrong. I am extremely happy to have our son; I’m just scared of the flow of things. I have random thoughts like how do I manage both naps? Will he be a good sleeper? Until when should I breastfeed? Will I lose my mind with two active kids? How will I feel waking up numerous times a night to breastfeed? It certainly creates a bit of stress.
Not only do I ponder on how my life will do another dramatic change, but I also worry about how much my husband will be able to help with the kids and around the house in order for me to keep my sanity. Being a stay-at-home mom is hard work and sometimes, with one child, I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs. I have rough days, just like everyone else. Sometimes, Julianna isn’t the easiest little girl and just like she has bad days, I also have bad days. Adding another kid into the mix is worrisome. It makes me wonder how moms with 3 or 5 kids do it. There has to be a way. There has to be a secret or a formula that I haven’t discovered yet. Regardless of the fact, when I came home from the hospital, I made Joey promise me that I’ll have a weekly time-off for myself, even if it’s to go to the park and have a cup of coffee by myself while reading a book. I have found extremely important to have some time for myself to recharge my batteries and to feel relaxed. Not only am I a better wife but also a better mother.
It’s been hard for me to have some time off recently because Joey works 2 different jobs – full time. It’s crazy, I know. Most people don’t understand how he does it, but he does it. He works 7 days a week, every single week. He works during the day and long hours at night, so now that I’m getting close to our delivery date, he has had to make some career changes in order to be more present at home and be able to offer me the help that I’ll need from now on; especially with my recovery and with the transition of having two kids.
Joey recently accepted a full-time job in a new home development, so I’m beyond excited for this new opportunity that will separate him indefinitely from the nightlife. This gives me a huge feeling of relief and I know it’ll give me the peaceful sleep I’ve been craving for some time now.